Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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