Who wears a wallet chain?!
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Alive.
So much puke
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
