i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
