We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
