Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
