it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
you inspire me to be a worse person
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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