i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
