You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
