I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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