the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
