are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
