There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
