Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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