I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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