mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
wrigley field is MILF paradise
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
