i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
