I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
