chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
My bed smells like the plague
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
