you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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