Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
