I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
