You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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