Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
