Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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