let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
