I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
