...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
