Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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