and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You are a booty call, not a friend.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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