when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
