I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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