Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
She's just so happy...and so naked.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
