Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
