He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
