Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
