oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
