Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
