Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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