I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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