you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
