I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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