She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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