haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
