Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
