if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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