They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
