how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
