When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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