some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
