I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
