two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
