elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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